Please, let me tell you about sleeping with Jane... Yes, this is very true shit. She is my friend, she is staying with me for a bit. She's not hard to live with, for the most part... That is until bedtime.
She checks her Facebook account like it's a newspaper! She either giggles at things, shows them to me, or tells me all about them. But... Let me tell ya, when her phone screen goes black, it becomes a race! A race, I know I've lost once she utters four little words... I'm ready for bed.
That's when you know you're in a world of trouble... You have about 3.5 seconds to fall asleep before the snoring begins. After which, you're just up... The second she rolls over the rumbling of the room begins.
Does anyone remember those vibrating beds the motels used to have? Funny little thing about sleeping with Jane, I don't need a quarter to turn the bed on... Who knows she may even bring down my walls one night. My home is an older house, so it could happen. Not sure how I would explain that one to the insurance company... When I file for damages.
I think I've heard the neighbor's dogs howling back, in answer to her snores. If she starts drawing them into the yard at night, howling in worship to her snores... She will have to sleep outside.
Poor Jane... Sleeping with her is like lying next to a freight train... And I know what train sounds like! They run through our town day and night. Jane comes in at a close second to them.
The walls shake as I lie there... Hoping for aliens to come and take me. You know, the sad thing is. I would let them take her for any probing they needed... Once they heard the noise coming from her there would be no worries. They would be more curious as to how that crazy sound was coming from their new project.
She really is a sweet person! My luck... They wouldn't bother probing her. She would somehow make friends with the aliens. Teach them to carve pumpkins or braid hair... (giggles)I love to tease her about her snoring... But it is a medical condition, she can't help the sounds that come from far within.
She can, however, help this falling asleep so darn fast... I have never been one to pass out like that. I wish that I could, though... It would be great!
No... I'll tell you what would be great. My girls being able to fall asleep like that!
Hope you all sleep well,
Goodnight!
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